It's a sad, sad, sad world.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Life is truly stranger than fiction sometimes.

After my last post, life took a 180-degree turn. I had a good Mother's Day weekend with hubby and friends. We went out to dinner and had plans to celebrate my birthday on Wednesday May 11th. I thought finally, my funk is broken in regards to Mother's Day/my birthday.

Then I received a call from my mom on the morning of May 10th.

She found my grandfather. He had died early that morning.

As I sat there listening to her, I thought really, REALLY, SERIOUSLY? Three YEARS to the DAY that Granny died? Practically at the same time of day?

SERIOUSLY???

In one way, yes, I guess it's kind of sweet that he died on the same day as Granny. On the other hand, as I told Hubby, screw my birthdays from now on. Don't want to think about them. Don't want to remember them. I can however joke that they made sure I'd never forget the date.

Fortunately, I got to talk to him the afternoon before. He'd called me and while short, I did get to exchange, "I love you's," with him.

So now I have his cat, his bird, and his house. Which...

Ugh. Not that bad, but the kitchen was gross. I'm no Martha Stewart, but at his age, and after losing Granny, he just didn't care anymore. All he'd talked about was dying.

So now with hubby literally days away from retirement, I now am scrambling to readjust my budget to support not one, but two houses. No way in hell will I lose that house. It's old, around 60-years old, wood frame, and my mom grew up there. I practically grew up there from all the time I spent there.

I'm just...still in shock in a way. Not dealing well some days. Had a major meltdown on Saturday, first screaming at a poor podocarpus bush to let go of my clippers, then later sobbing on a friend's shoulder when I finally broke down.

I don't process or deal with grief well. I never had. It's just one of those...things. So now I'm forced to deal with it.

To top it all off, a week later, last Tuesday, my vet tells me our bulldog, Bubbles (she'll be 11 in July) has an inoperable mass in her abdomen. Cancer. Our only viable option is to just keep her comfortable until her quality of life get to the point we have to make that decision.

Let's just say I'm not in the best frame of mind these days.

*sigh*

2 reader comments:

  1. I feel for you woman! May is a tormenting month for me as well. Lost my father on the 24th, my sister was murdered on the 27th. We should rally together to have May removed as a month of the year. We can adjust your birthday to June.
    On a serious note though, I am truly sorry for your loss.

  1. Martha said...:

    I am so, so sorry.
    May a circle of love surround and protect you while you grieve and heal.