Why I hate bullies.

Saturday, October 12, 2013
So the events of the past 24 hours have been fun. LOL ("I do not think that word means what you think it means." LOL)

Let me start by saying that one of the parties is now claiming they had nothing to do with this whole scenario. That they've tried repeatedly to get in touch with me and clear this up. Well, funny, I haven't received any emails from them at all. (Yet the bully was able to email me? Hmm.) If they want to email me, deets are on my contact page. Nothing secret about that.

So, here is an open message to that person. If you are really genuine in wanting to "clear the air" about this, then send me an email. Let's talk. Here is why I've made the statements I did about you:

You say you were only on our group for a day. No, you were a member longer than that, and then after being banned after being warned about your behavior, you tried to rejoin using multiple personalities (which you admitted you had). And quite a few people have contacted the admins of our group saying you had friended them under multiple personalities, and used those to add them to the copycat group, in some cases re-adding them with one of the alternate personas if they forgot to check the "prevent someone from this group from readding me" box. Our admins have also received complaints about you soliciting money via emails and PMs. And this happened in not one, but TWO groups I run.

I personally have received several messages from people who said they had to block you well before all this started for spammy behavior.

Not spammy? If you don't think that's spammy behavior, then you really do need to take a step back and go back to social media school.

But, again, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. My email's listed on my Contact page. Shoot me an email. Open a dialog. I have received ZERO emails from you asking to clear this up, despite what you said on your Facebook page. Explain to me how your behavior isn't spammy. I'm a reasonable person. You really want to clear this up? Then let's talk. If you aren't the person who sent the threatening emails to me, email me and let's clear this up. If you are innocent, I will be more than happy to make a public statement to that effect.

Why don't I tolerate bullies?

I started the BDSM Bibliophreaks group to be a community. Not a place to pimp books, but a place for readers and writers to come together to discuss the BDSM lifestyle and books related to it. It's always gratifying to me when someone tells me that being in our group, and being able to ask questions in a judgment-free atmosphere has helped them in real life.

THAT'S the lifeblood of our group.

Then people who get pissed off that they got bounced out of our group for violations of our policies (and after multiple complaints to the admins from our members about them) decide they want to "screw" with our group.

I go momma bear over that. I am very protective of our members. Had they simply created their copycat group and done their thing, whatever. But they spam-added members from our group.

I am no stranger to bullies. I spent several years as a lay counselor to people recovering from abusive relationships. But even more important, there's something I don't talk about a lot.

I was a victim of a crime when I was 18. The man was a couple of years older than me and a fellow student in one of my classes in college, and when I said no, he didn't stop. When I threatened to go to the cops, he threatened to kill my family's dogs. At the time I was young, naive, and completely believed him. He knew where I lived and could have easily done it.

That I didn't press charges haunts me to this day. I can only hope he didn't prey on others, and that guilt haunts me.

I'm no longer that terrified 18 year-old. So when someone sends me a threat, regardless of if they simply think they're "screwing" with me or people I feel protective of? I treat it seriously.

I don't let it go unchallenged.

Had the people behind this simply left our members alone, this would have died off. But then some mental midget had to send out threatening email messages (and apparently they're not up on the latest cyberstalking laws in our post-911 society).

I am very protective of the people who placed their trust in us in the BDSM Bibliophreaks group. Because some of those people don't HAVE any other place they feel safe discussing the lifestyle or asking questions.

Back down, to some anonymous coward on the internet? I don't think so. I'm sure the person who sent me the emails thought it would send me running for cover. But the exact opposite happened. So I will do what my home state is already notorious for: I will stand my ground.

Love and light, peeps. To everyone who's sent me messages of support, thank you, I <3 you all!

12 reader comments:

  1. I am so sorry this is happening to our group! Thank you for standing strong!!!

  1. Cheryl M said...:

    Something like this happening is such a sad commentary on our society in this day and age. That it is aimed at you, personally, is outrageous. I, for one, am grateful for the group and all it represents. Thank you for having the strength to stand up and fight the cowardly souls perpetrating all of this. Wish there was more I could do to help besides offering mere virtual support.

  1. Cheryl M said...:
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  1. Cheryl M said...:

    Sorry about the multiple comments ... working from iPad and it's not showing up for me to view. Guess you know where I stand in all this craziness. Peace and love!

  1. Tymber, thank you for standing up against cyber bullies. There is no place in modern society for such behavior, and I commend you for speaking out.

    From a personal standpoint, what bullies don't realize is that rather than making one weaker, their actions only serve to make one stronger.

    Take care

    Jan

  1. Anonymous said...:

    <3

    Love,
    Kenna

  1. Sorry to hear about this P.O.S. attacking you and your page members. You're doing the right thing. I got a giggle out of one the tags you placed on the "Why I hate bullies" blog ... asshats. That just about sums 'em up, eh? Stay strong.

  1. Tymber,
    The fact that cowardly people feel they can prey on others through the Internet sickens me. I applaud you for standing up for others who are not able to, and continue to support you.

    I've been a fan of your books for years, but only recently got to "meet" you through social media and your personality is absolutely glorious. Now, I understand why I love your characters so much - they are extensions of you.

    One note on your attack. You did the right thing, at the time. NEVER second-guess yourself.

    Hugs from TB,
    Michelle

  1. CaroleDee said...:

    The *supposed* anonymity of the internet tends to bring out the asshole in people. I'm sorry you're the latest target of a keyboard-warrior :(

  1. Vanessa said...:

    Tymber, I am astounded that people think that it is okay to behave like this in person or online. I do not understand all the complexities of online tracking but I do know it is possible. If they are online then surely they know there is no such thing as being totally hidden. It is outrageous behaviour! Thankyou for standing strong and persevering to protect the people on your group. I just shake my head sometimes in total unbelief as to what people think is okay. This type of thing is not okay!
    On your assault... I was abused as a child but didn't speak up until I was almost 16. I was struggling with the fact I didn't speak up before and I was given some very useful advice in support that has been very useful throughout my life. I was told, "you did all you could do to survive, at the time you made the best decision you could. You were young give yourself a break and do not second guess yourself. What you decided then was the best decision you could make with all the knowledge and understanding you had". It was a good advice, I thought and it certainly helped me to cope. BTW, in speaking up the perp pled guilty and went to jail... a good ending for me. also once again you humble me with your willingness to be open about such a traumatic event and in doing so most likely help others in knowing even if their perp was a different person there are other people around who have had traumatic experiences and have coped in a way to go on to be strong and to have a good life. You don't need to know I am proud of you for that but I am! hugs.

  1. Tara Rose said...:

    Rock on, Tymber. You already know I have your back. :)

  1. Thank you to everyone who commented and emailed/messaged me privately with your love and support. You guys are the greatest. and I <3 you all. ((HUGS))